Have you ever felt or caught your child watching pornography online?
If yes then you need to prepare yourself for the battle ahead. A tough one but inevitable. Brace yourself to face the harsh truth of pornography addiction.
We happen to live in the dark, appreciating our children’s online adventures and boasting about it to our peers. But the day we stumble upon him watching pornography online our rose tinted glasses shatter and we are in for a rude shock. The site could be an ‘accidental find’ leading to a lifelong pornography addiction. His inquisitiveness may expose him to the obnoxious side of pornography unless something is done about it.
A pornography website traps a child. by providing objectionable links and provocative popups to explore, which are very luring to a naive mind. They are projected in such a way that it traps a person into visiting it again unwantingly.
If your child has already tasted the enticing flavor of a pornography site, then the only way is to be candid. First take him into confidence so that he divulges his feelings to you without any inhibitions. More importantly teach him to separate shame and sex. Gain his trust and let him pour out his feelings to you in a tension-free environment. Then try to explain to him the deceptivity of these sites.
Some of the things that will help you in such a situation are:
#1 Haste is waste so don’t react hastily
The child has unknowingly done the act. The steps cannot be retraced now. Though it is hard to accept this reality it has to be accepted with a cool head. Reacting immediately will further worsen the situation. Talk to him at a suitable time when he is in a cheerful mood. Initially talk to him indirectly about it and convey your feelings to him but in a non-threatening manner. Make the child understand what pornography is – an obscene digression of reality. Give him some time to react. If he still continues with it then have a face to face discussion with him explaining to him about the inappropriateness of pornography online and its perilous effects on his mind.
#2 Have an open sex discussion with your child
Talk about sex and pornography addiction with your child. Bring him a book on sex and discuss terms like ‘penis’ ‘breasts’ and ‘vagina’ with him. Involve him in this open discussion. Also explain to him about sexual intimacy and intercourse. Show your child that sexual intimacy and mating should not be belittled as it is an act of love and derogatory words like ‘dick’, ‘pussy’ and ‘boobs’ should not be used.
Next tell him that you are aware of his exposure to pornography online. Encourage him to discuss about sex and tell him that he should not be embarrassed to talk about sex. You should act as a source to satisfy his eagerness to know about sexual acts and sexual mating. He should be encouraged to come to you in case of any doubt about sex. Emphasize more on the emotional importance of love making.
Convince him that pornography never depicts the reality. The bodies shown in the act and the sizes of the sexual organs shown in the pornographic online sites are never real and he should not base his self esteem on it.
#3 Become a sexual dictionary for your child.
Your child is bubbling with questions. Give straight forward answers to all his sexual queries Talk to him like a friend so that he comes running to you for his answers. Never put fear or shame in his mind while talking about this otherwise he will never stop watching porn. He will rather ensure that he is not caught while doing so.. And that is rather risky.
#4 Warn him about its ill effects
A child is after all a child. Involve him in interesting activities and try to divert his mind from porn. Involve him in something productive which he is passionate about. Try to be around as much as possible and try to bring him out of this pornography addiction. You can also share stories of children who watch porn and how they ruined their future.
#5 Stop further exposure
Find out the source or the root cause.. Check his browser history and try to ascertain how it started. Whether he stumbled upon it or he searches for such sites which will be clear from his browsing history.
The next step should be to install a parental control. There are various controls available in the market. Keep the system in the living room or your own room and limit his time on the net. Try to keep him away from the system in the night.
His net surfing should be monitored and supervised. Most of the parents face this situation in their life. It is better to be prepared rather be caught unarmed.
#6 Open the lines of communication
This Situation opens up a huge opportunity to open the lines of communication between you and your child. They sometimes go through weird feelings and they do not understand that what they are feeling is normal or not.
This is the time when your role comes into picture. His trust in you should bring him running to you to sort out his embarrassing and sensitive issues without being scorned. Teach him about the mutual respect between opposite genders.
Teach him accountability for his actions. He should be freely able to talk about contraception and other sexual concerns openly with you. This will make him a psychologically strong person.
#7 Developing morality in your child.
Shock! Agony! Fury! Disgust ! and Concern! are some of the emotions that raise their head in a parent when a child is caught watching porn. Blame game further worsens the situation.
Please follow the above guiding steps to constructively rectify the unwanted situation.
Do forward this message to all the parents to help them bring out there children from this perilous pornography addiction.