Child Rape – The Rapist In Disguise Of Your Loved Ones

Child rape and child sexual abuse are terms which were rarely heard of in the olden days. People were god fearing and virtuous. Such thoughts were considered to be sinful and deplorable and such humans were ostracized by the society.

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Today child rapists are all around in disguise of loving human beings preying upon their soft targets i.e. children who are credulous, vulnerable and easily deceivable. The most shocking thing is that these perverts can be from one among our loved ones, who are responsible for our protection and security.

I feel ashamed to mention their roles because sometimes they are the ones whom we trust blindly in. For example uncles, brothers, fathers, neighbours, friends etc. This may not be the case with all. But such incidents in the society should be eye openers for all of us to protect our children from people around them in disguise of respected and loving human beings.

I am narrating a true and a very sensitive story of child rape in the victim’s words who is trying to heal her deep embedded scars even today.

Lost Virginity at a Very Young Age

She faced this obnoxious crime when she was only 11 years old. Her virginity was stolen when she was 11 and her life changed completely after that. The worst was that the victim was raped by her own father several times every day and her mother was in complete denial as she wanted to save her marriage.

This is difficult to believe. A father is his daughter’s hero who comes riding whenever his lovely daughter needs him and protects her from all the monsters of the world. But what if he himself turns out to be a monster in disguise of a father.

“Everything was normal till my father was posted in another town. He used to come occasionally for a day or two and we used to have a lovely time together. He bought gifts and chocolates for me on every visit and I started trusting him blindly. It all started when he was posted in our town and started living with us. I came to know from one of my friends that he was my step father.

My mom was a working woman and her shift was from 5 a.m to 4.00 pm except Sundays.

That day after my mother left, my dad started insisting on giving me a bath which I found very strange. Despite my denial he pulled me to the bathroom and started undressing me. I could not understand what is happening as I was too innocent to understand his motive.

My World Shattered

Retaliation was too farfetched. He started applying soap on my body with a disgusting look in his eyes. I am blocking out the horrific details, as it is nauseating. I lost my senses out of fear and fell down on the floor, rather pushed down with his body on top. I could feel his naked body all wet. Something penetrated me and my world shattered.

Despite my innocence I knew that what just happened wasn’t normal. My head was reeling and I was shocked and scared. It was paining and stinking.

I guess I fainted because I found myself in my bed properly dressed and my father sitting next to me with a cup of coffee in his hand for me. He asked me to relax and forget about what happened in the bathroom. I was emotionally frozen. I was raped by my own father whom I blindly trusted. I had a sharp pain down there. I was clearly penetrated.

I Became an Emotional Wreck

I was scared to death and on top of that threatened by my devil father of not talking about it to anyone lest he would take me to police. That night I cried a lot into my pillow not knowing what happened.

I thought of sharing it with my mother but didn’t have the courage to do so. That night was a sleepless night for me tossing and turning trying to figure out what had transpired. I was scared to be alone.

The next day I clung to my mother forcing her to take me along with her to office but she was clueless as to why I was behaving like that. I refused to eat if she didn’t take me but she refused. I had to go through that trauma again in absence of my mother. I was ripped apart with no one to share my agony with. I was treated like a sex toy for entertainment.

Ashamed to Share the Truth

I decided to write and tell my mom about what had happened as I was feeling ashamed to share the truth with her. I gathered all my courage and when my mother was working in the kitchen I went and gave her the letter. Immediately after this I ran to my room and covered myself with a bed sheet to hide my shame that was writ on my face clear and bold.

I expected my mom to come and comfort me by hugging and kissing me but nothing like this happened. In fact I found the torn letter in the dustbin and my mother continued with her normal routine. She did not take any notice of what I had written in the letter.

I was left alone in the hands of a devil who tortured me at his own will. I do remember sharing this with a neighbour but she was almost of my age and I wonder whether she understood it. I did lighten myself by sharing the story with her.

Broke Away From This Nauseating Cycle

A few years later, when I was 16 years old I decided to break away from this nauseating cycle. I had borne this torture for almost 5 years. I started hating my parents and especially my mother who denied this just to save her marriage. It is the failure of my mother to believe me, that hurts me the most. My mother never understood why I avoided my father when he wanted to hug or caress me. I guess she deliberately pretended not to understand it.

It’s the duty of every parent to watch out for clues like these and to know that every dramatic behavior change is a cause for concern.

I was traumatized. But my mother failed to protect me. It was only when I was 16 that I eloped with a boy who later married me. He knows about my past but the irrecoverable scars haven’t healed and they have become my inseparable companions.

My Tumultuous Past Haunts Me

My life has been deeply affected by my tumultuous past. I have shared this with ample number of people but not anyone who knows me personally, about my dad. It’s a huge secret to endure.

I have never been able to make love naturally as for me it is linked to rape and molestation. Though I consider myself lucky to have such a patient and understanding husband.

For me every man is a predator; I cannot trust anyone. It’s a horrible way of living. I don’t have words to describe my pain as I was dragged through hell. “Why? When I was defenseless?”

Opening Up To Give Courage to Others

I am opening up to give courage to others who are still trapped in this destructive life cycle. I have two daughters who are my life but I never trust my husband with my daughters. Sometimes my husband gets offended with my behavior but my daughters’ security is now the goal of my life. I want them to be so courageous so as to pull the eyes out of these kinds of monsters and lead a liberated life.

I wanted my stepfather behind bars but due to lack of evidence he is still roaming free.”

This is the story of Nancy (name changed), who is now trying to bring her life back on track by passing on her learnings to her daughters.

She considers herself an orphan with no mention of her parents. Her nightmare has ended but its trail still follows her. Child rape can happen with a girl as well as a boy.

Mothers the Closest Confidants

Generally mothers are the closest confidants of their children and it is their duty to take every single word uttered from a child’s mouth seriously. Any change in behavior should ring alarm bells in their ears. They should be quick enough to detect signals of distress and anxiety from their child’s face to protect them from any untoward incident like child rape.

Children never lie and they expect you to trust them blindly for them to live a fearless life.

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Vimi

Hi everybody! I , a teacher by profession,and a writer by passion got into blogging to quench my thirst of reading and writing. A blog is a medium for me to share about anything and everything that I feel like with the world to keep you entertained and informed. This way I am availing the opportunity of reaming in touch with the society.

One thought on “Child Rape – The Rapist In Disguise Of Your Loved Ones

  • April 29, 2018 at 10:06 am
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    In my country, we have been hearing child rape stories every day via media coverage. Reading a personal experience like this, breaks my heart.

    Reply

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