How to deal with a cheating husband !
There are generally two types of cheating husbands
1.One who wants to desert his wife for the other woman.
2. One who wants to keep both and enjoy both the sides of life.
No two situations can ever match for different individuals but the anguish, pain and the feelings of neglect and sadness are almost the same for everyone. Yes! Of course the response to the situation may also vary from person to person depending on his/her emotional psyche. Below are some tips on ” How to deal with a cheating husband !”
Having another woman in your husband’s life is torturous:
You are likely to go through feelings of disgust ,anger. pain and betrayal which may stifle and provoke you to such an extent that you may consider walking out of your marriage. But that is not a sensible decision always. Without even trying to solve a problem and giving up is a job of a coward. The tough fight and win.
Think before you leap because these kinds of affairs are generally very short lived. Focus on your family and husband too,showering him with care and love to disassociate him from the extra marital affair. The investment it takes to save your marriage is always less than the rewards that you get.
On the other hand if the husband is hell bent on separating from you for the other woman , set him free and fly solo to achieve the altitude that you have always dreamt of. Always remember that partners are mere companions in your journey of life and nothing more. If they hinder your progress then they are not worth it.
Sometimes the man is playing a double game. You may not have known about it and it may come to you as a rude shock. In such case count on your wisdom and take an appropriate decision for the best of your future.
Men compartmentalize emotions
Men and women have different ways in handling their feelings and emotions.. In general, men can segregate their work from their family , their sex from love, and their lover from their wife more easily in comparison to a woman.. They have all these feelings in different mental “boxes” and can mentally switch from one to another throughout the day. “Out of sight is out of mind.” is generally what a man follows. These mental boxes help him to be real in every situation and when one mental box starts dominating the other ,the sparks of trouble originate. That is why he can really touch your heart at one time while some time later he can be the same with his girlfriend. A woman can can never be real in both these situations, but a man can have two relationships going on simultaneously and that too sincerely.
It is not a one day affair!
Some men live this dual life for years because of their ability to box their feelings and especially if this has been done secretly. The other woman is made to believe that there is trouble in the marriage and she assumes that the cheating man has been wanting to come out of his tumultuous marriage, though, it is a farce.. Always remember that a man who lies to one woman can lie to another easily.
Why do men decide to leave ?
“Sex workers” (prostitutes) and “fun girls” are not interested in a relationship with a married man, though they may pursue him for his attention or money on a regular basis. Some men are addicted to them .These women do not wish to snatch away your husband , although they don’t care about its impact on your relationship. But the ‘Other women’ is looking for a loving companion , and a secure and committed relationship. Eventually, this puts the man in a decisive situation where he has to choose one out of the two. Now here the biggest deciding factor is the quality of the relationship that he enjoys with his wife.Men generally don’t want to lose something which they love and value.
Mistakes that women commit trying to get their cheating husband back
Coping with a man who wishes to leave is different from coping with a man who has been caught red handed and wants to stay,. Any negative emotion or anger that is imposed on him is only going to push him further from you. Pleading with him is also not going to help. The decision is neither about the other woman nor about you (although it seems so). The choice is about him and his future. Anykind of resistance or disapproval is going to push him further away. Although what he is doing is very wrong, you can’t make him stay by proving him wrong. Your blaming, offending, or pleading with him will do nothing to protect your relationship .This all makes you more repulsive. This action shows a lack of concern for your husband.
Reconnecting the only solution at this time
The disconnect and the distance between you and your husband is the cause of this horrible situation. It is not that he really loves the other woman but he has grabbed onto the first opportunity that came his way. He is actually looking for emotional compatibility which has deprived him for long. Had it not been this woman then it would have been someone else.
More than marriage it is the connect between the two partners which is important to him. He wouldn’t mind leaving you for the sake of connectivity and emotional fulfillment with anyone else. Although it may be a recent discovery for you but good…..that you know it now. So what are you waiting for ………….. Try bringing back that connection that you once shared with him. You may still be lucky to get him back. Don’t assume that if he doesn’t care about your relationship now, he never will. While separated, try connecting with him not just telephonically but emotionally and mentally too. Listen to his problems. Do not bombard him with your own crying stories but rather help him sorting out his emotional conflicts without criticizing him These are skills that you may not be aware of, but which you can learn.
Sometimes it is impossible to get him back from the other woman
In situations where there is no contact between the husband and wife it becomes almost impossible to reconect. No more contact means no relationship. Secondly there should be a will to get your cheating husband back.It needs hard work.Another situation is when he has already committed to the other woman by moving in with her, married her, had a child with her, and other such indisputable commitments. Dating or flirting is not commitment. He may also been going around with someone for long but still it is not a sign of commitment. There have been times when a man stays with another woman only out of convenience rather than commitment.
How to get your cheating husband back ?
When a man has been caught red handed and does not want to lose his wife , then a lot of stiffness is required. In such a situation counselling can heal a relationship. First of all , communicating with your husband without fighting or being neutral has to be learnt.. You should be able to prove to your husband of being a better choice without looking needy. Then, you needs to make him choose at the appropriate time. When men are not made to choose they don’t. And, if you don’t do this , the other woman will. Try to bring back the fun in your marriage and try to revive the old flame that existed before.
Emotions run very high at this time and emotional reactions are very common at this time. End of communication means end of relationship. You can’t keep the communication alive by just being nice .This may make him exploit your emotions and at the same time enjoy the other woman too. You also can;t be too tough as this will just push him towards the other woman. Always confide in your loved ones who will give you the peace of mind that you desperately need at this time.
Wish you good luck for restoring your marriage.
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